April 27, 2009

Wonder what their AARP discounts were like....

I'm often asked why I poke fun at, or just outright laugh at the Bible.

This questions almost always from folks who THINK they have read it, but really have just had cute flowery passages read to them.

They haven't really dug into the dragons, unicorns, talking trees, and other completely mystical elements that make the Bible crazier than a sack of weasels.

Here's a nice chart found on the J-Walk Blog. . . .





11 comments:

Sherry said...

love this!

Kulkuri said...

Years ago I said, "The bible is just a novel with multiple authors" and almost got to witness a miracle like George Carlin told of, "He passed a cheese sandwich thru his nose." One of my co-workers was eating something at the time and it almost came out his nose.

themom said...

Another good one!

CynDe said...

Several comments & points...I was talking to a 'born again' friend one day about how 'the church' selected the books for the Bible and what books were not included. She said that if God felt that the Bible was incorrect He would change it. I was shocked by this especially since were both were once journeyman lithographers altho' reprinting the Bible would most definitely help the industry. God in the publishing business - a revelation!

Social Security is going to run out of funds in 2040 - Moses, Noah, etc. might have to go back to work.

Marriage was originally a business deal to merge the wealth and property of two families and not a religious ceremony.

And finally folks - when you are going to meet my Muslim friends, wearing a Jesus T-shirt is NOT appropriate attire.

Justine said...

The Church (early followers of Christ) existed first, and there was no Bible. Then they gathered the writings of many authors and and put them with the Torah into one book. Lots of letters and historical accounts they had didn't make the cut--they only included the ones they believed God had guided them to use.

IF there was a God, he COULD use multiple authors from all generations to write down different pieces of salvation history in a way that when compiled they would weave together. If a human author can write an awesome book, imagine what a divine author could do. Just sayin'.

(Call an exterminator, Lemmy. Your blog is infested with Christians.)

Lemmy Caution said...

they only included the ones they believed God had guided them to use.Boy howdy, now THERE is a statement I really want to base my short life on.

Here is the word of god....as decided by a bunch of MEN who are telling you that the parts they are picking were dictated to them by an invisible force. Yeah.

Must have been a busy invisible force......he/she/it dictated dozens and dozens of other 'holy books' as well.
I hate it when invisible holy superintendents can't make up their mind.

CynDe said...

It's called schizophrenia!

Justine said...

Dear brother, do you really think I would let a MAN boss me around? The books weren't chosen by men, they were chosen by the Holy Spirit who guided the men. I only let God boss me around, not some stupid man. ;)

Justine said...

And your link doesn't address what I believe. Remember, I'm Catholic.

Lemmy Caution said...

The list of men doing something they later claimed was "guided by the holy spirit" is longer than the list of holy spirits that have existed.

That fact alone is enough to make me weary of anyone that claims they did something that was "guided by unseen forces".

That link wasn't meant to address what you believe.....it was just good old fashioned facts about "holy books".

Maybe I will learn more and know better when I get to be 900 years old.

Justine said...

Yes, maybe. And then I will bake you a cake and put 900 candles on it.